STEWARTVILLE, Minn. -
Walk into the Knutson home and you'll find a home with playful, spirited and lively children. Family pictures adorn the walls. But there is one piece missing.
Tricia Knutson unexpectedly got pregnant when her first-born Charlie was just 18 months old. But after experiencing heavy pain and spotting, she learned from her doctor she had lost the baby.
"She did an ultrasound, there was no baby and I don't fault her, I'm sure she deals with this a lot," Knutson said. "Her bedside manner was pretty gruff and just said there's no baby, you need to go downstairs for a blood test, i was just sitting there and had no idea what to do or what was going on," Knutson said.
the pain of her loss didn't hit her until she left to get to her car.
"Then I just started sobbing and I just sat there for maybe 30 minutes, crying," Knutson said.
The miscarriage terrified her during her next two pregnancies.
"My two pregnancies after were really tough, especially that first trimester, everytime I went to the bathroom, it's like I was expecting the worst, I was going to see blood again, this pregnancy wasn't going to full-term," Knutson said.
While she has three healthy and beautiful kids, her angel stays with her.
"I still every single day think about that child," Knutson said.
Grief over the loss of her little angel is a lifelong process.
"It's like the first time you saw those lines, that baby is yours, there's no way to let go of that, at least for me," Knutson said.