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Amanda Bynes shares her regret

Former child star Amanda Bynes talked with Paper Magazine about her struggle with substance abuse.

Posted: Nov 28, 2018 6:41 AM
Updated: Nov 28, 2018 7:00 AM

Four years after a series of troubling arrests and Twitter rants, Amanda Bynes is ready to talk about what happened.

"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said," Bynes told Paper magazine. "I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad. Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter. It's definitely not Twitter's fault -- it's my own fault."

The former child star, who rose to fame in the '90s on shows like Nickelodeon's "All That" and "The Amanda Show," said she's been sober for four years and is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

In 2014, Bynes was sentenced to three years on probation in a plea deal that resolved a drunken driving charge. As part of the deal, she also was required to attend an alcohol education course and pay a fine.

She continued to make headlines that year for a series of shocking tweets that included false accusations of abuse against her father.

"Everybody is different, obviously, but for me, the mixture of marijuana and whatever other drugs and sometimes drinking really messed up my brain," Bynes explained. "It really made me a completely different person. I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter."

Related: Amanda Bynes' bipolar diagnosis turns murky

She said the combination of marijuana use and a shift in her schedule contributed to her spiral.

"I just had no purpose in life. I'd been working my whole life and [now] I was doing nothing," Bynes continued. "I had a lot of time on my hands and I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long ... [I] was just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting ... I never did heroin or meth or anything like that but certain things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a more harmful way."

Around the same time, following a psychological evaluation and hospitalization, Bynes tweeted -- and later deleted -- that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the Paper interview, she said she does not have a mental illness.

"It definitely isn't fun when people diagnose you with what they think you are," Bynes said. "That was always really bothersome to me. If you deny anything and tell them what it actually is, they don't believe you. Truly, for me, [my behavior] was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of [drugs], I was always back to normal. I know that my behavior was so strange that people were just trying to grasp at straws for what was wrong."

Bynes said she hopes to release a clothing line and eventually get back into acting. She also hopes her experience will serve as a cautionary tale for others.

"Be really, really careful because you could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did," she said.

Minnesota Coronavirus Cases

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Cases: 452268

Reported Deaths: 6100
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Hennepin938131490
Ramsey40370746
Dakota33353349
Anoka31193366
Washington20363231
Stearns17995189
St. Louis13857245
Scott1209197
Wright11723106
Olmsted1068375
Sherburne825766
Carver700138
Clay655582
Rice618070
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Blue Earth545933
Crow Wing487778
Otter Tail460967
Chisago456436
Benton422287
Winona393048
Douglas377266
Nobles373946
Mower370829
Goodhue352661
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McLeod326747
Beltrami314048
Morrison313545
Lyon304138
Becker288039
Itasca286443
Isanti284242
Carlton282543
Steele278110
Pine269214
Freeborn251523
Todd232630
Nicollet227537
Brown216934
Mille Lacs214945
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Cass209424
Meeker200933
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Martin171426
Roseau166217
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Marshall70315
Clearwater68714
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Wilkin6309
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Iowa Coronavirus Cases

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Cases: 309989

Reported Deaths: 4424
CountyCasesDeaths
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Linn17979279
Scott15787171
Black Hawk14037243
Woodbury13093181
Johnson1224652
Dubuque11535159
Pottawattamie9111115
Dallas905972
Story877838
Webster471577
Cerro Gordo471472
Sioux459157
Clinton456167
Warren456139
Marshall429862
Buena Vista396130
Muscatine394978
Des Moines390043
Plymouth352470
Wapello348498
Jasper330159
Lee322632
Marion308152
Jones274250
Henry266131
Carroll258034
Bremer249348
Crawford233524
Boone222017
Washington222033
Benton212250
Mahaska197237
Jackson194331
Tama189959
Dickinson188329
Kossuth178544
Delaware175236
Clay171421
Wright166424
Fayette165024
Hamilton162030
Buchanan161624
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Hardin156730
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Butler150824
Page146315
Floyd140836
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Mills138417
Lyon137333
Poweshiek134524
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Iowa127422
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Grundy122128
Jefferson122025
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