Rabbit, rabbit! Welcome to a new month. Here's what you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door. (You can also get "5 Things You Need to Know Today" delivered to your inbox daily. Sign up here.)
1. Presidential pardons
President Donald Trump is in the middle of what seems to be a pardon storm, wielding a political tool of mercy like a strategic sword. The latest target of his good graces? Dinesh D'Souza, a conservative author and filmmaker who pleaded guilty to violating federal campaign finance laws in 2014 after he was indicted on charges he illegally used straw donors to contribute to a Republican Senate candidate in 2012. Also on Thursday, Trump told reporters he was thinking of doing the same for Martha Stewart, who spent five months in prison more than a decade ago for lying and obstructing justice in connection with a 2001 stock deal, and Rod Blagojevich, the former Democratic governor of Illinois currently serving a 14-year sentence after being convicted on corruption charges in 2011.
When it comes to US trade war-teasing tariffs, it appears no one is safe -- not even our allies. Trump is imposing steep tariffs on steel and aluminum from three of America's biggest trading partners: Canada, Mexico and the European Union. The three immediately announced plans to retaliate with their own tariffs against American products. They're not the only ones who will be affected either. Depending on how much legwork American industries can do to supply domestic steel and aluminum, prices for items that use the metals (cars, appliances and construction equipment, to name a few) could go up.
3. Secret Service
The US Secret Service overpaid presidential campaigns an estimated $4 million for plane travel during the 2016 election, a government watchdog says in a new report obtained by CNN. According to the report, Secret Service officials realized eight months before Election Day that they were using the wrong formula to calculate the costs "but did not ensure the agency reverted to its longstanding policy." The Secret Service, which incurred millions of dollars in travel expenses to provide security during presidential campaigns, said it has asked the campaigns that were overpaid to provide the government refunds. The report did not detail how much each campaign was overpaid, nor did it accuse the campaigns of wrongdoing.
Myanmar and the United Nations have reached a deal to work together to repatriate hundreds of thousands of Rohingya Muslims who have fled violence in the country in the past year. The Rohingya are often considered the most persecuted minority on the planet, and about 700,000 of them have fled across the border to refugee camps in Bangladesh. Some of these refugees have told stories of mass slaughter and rape, villages being burned, and families exterminated by Myanmar military forces. Under this new deal, two UN groups will be given access to the Rakhine state in western Myanmar for the first time since violence broke out in August. They will try to facilitate the "voluntary, safe, dignified and sustainable" return of Rohinyga refugees.
5. Samantha Bee
Just days after "Roseanne" was canceled following a racist tweet from Roseanne Barr, a liberal media personality has come under fire for a very different comment. Samantha Bee, who hosts a politically fueled comedy news show on TBS, called Ivanka Trump a "feckless c***" during a broadcast in which she criticized Trump for her supposed silence on her father's immigration policies. The White House called the comment "vile and vicious" and implored TBS to repudiate her. Bee apologized, saying she "crossed a line." (TBS and CNN are both owned by Turner, a subsidiary of Time Warner.)
WHAT'S FOR LUNCH
Jobs, jobs, jobs
The May jobs report is coming your way later this morning, and we could see America's unemployment rate match its lowest point in half a century.
"The show is Trump, and it is sold-out performances everywhere."
Donald Trump, in an interview with Playboy magazine in 1990, making what turned out to be an enduring political prediction.
People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
Vermont will pay you $10,000 to move there and work remotely.
Ten grand and you can work with no pants on? We'd move to hell for that.
Too much bad news can make you sick.
If you want to unplug from the internet for a while, here's your justification.
Tom Cruise teases 'Top Gun' sequel
If bad news makes you sick, this is absolutely the perfect antidote.
It's true, teens are ditching Facebook.
Maybe they're tired of scrolling through their aunt's three-paragraph-long flat earth conspiracy theory manifesto, and honestly, aren't we all?
Dig in to a new "Parts Unknown" with Anthony Bourdain.
This week Anthony Bourdain heads to Hong Kong, but it's the director who really makes the episode special. Asia Argento is a leader of the #MeToo movement, and she takes you behind the scenes to see what it's like filming the show amid what she calls "organized chaos."
The Stanley Cup finals are currently underway. What two teams are vying for the title? (What?! I'm a sports fan. Sue me!)
a. The Pittsburgh Penguins and the Washington Capitals
b. The Washington Capitals and the Chicago Blackhawks
c. The Toledo Mud Hens and the New Orleans Baby Cakes
d. The Washington Capitals and the Vegas Golden Knights
Test your knowledge of the week's news with "Total Recall: The CNN News Quiz" to see if you're right.
AND FINALLY ...
Bliss out to 'Infinity Mirrors'
If you're lucky, you may have seen Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama's "Infinity Mirrors" exhibit -- a gorgeous, trippy journey through rooms of reflections. If not, hey, you can just watch a video of it! (Click to view.)